the imposter complex is a notorious condition that affects graduate students and academics the world over.
the imposter complex usually takes hold of unsuspecting graduate students and manifests itself through feelings of incompetence, insecurity and anxiety around whether or not they actually belong in the program of study they have undertaken. one of the major signs that you have been afflicted with it is a constantly feeling that you are going to be asked to leave the program because you are too stupid to be there.
my complex has been going full tilt for about two weeks now, i'm sitting in class listening to lecture and feeling as though any moment the nerd police are going to bust in and escort me off campus citing that i was let into the program by mistake.
make no mistake anybody in grad studies can identify what i'm going through and in fact i was forewarned about the imposter complex and how it would rear its ugly head as soon as i had my first lecture. sure enough it did.
i think i'm trying to deal with it the best i can although i know its affected the relationships around me, my ability to do simple tasks and the confidence in myself.
i've discovered a whole new level of neurotic.
Comments (1)
Hi Marcos,
Do you remember me? I was a year ahead of you in CS at Laurier and we ran into each other at the CCA two summers ago? Thanks to the small world that if the internet I came across your blog and wanted to let you know that I know exactly how you feel. During my time completing my MA at Carleton I suffered from the same feelings you are experiencing..And don`t forget every other student sitting around the table feels the same way at some time or another, they may just not want to admit it. There`s no doubt in my mind you are where you should be, if you didn`t deserve to be there you wouldn`t be. I speak from experience, our time at Laurier prepared us well, enjoy the new adventure you have begun.
Drop me a line some time and we can compare the trials and triumphs of being a grad student. fennellmelissa@hotmail.com
cheers,
Melissa Fennell
Posted by Melissa Fennell | September 24, 2006 11:22 PM
Posted on September 24, 2006 23:22