in my undergrad i often felt like i had make excuses for being smart.
don't get me wrong i don't think i am *that* smart. i mean i failed high school math... TWICE, i misuse commas constantly, and i seriously abuse the grammatical rules of the english language on a regular basis. that being said, i'd like to think i'm a sharp cookie, especially when it comes to current events, some aspects of politics and political situations and of course queer theory/sexuality studies (seeing as it is the foundation of my research, i hope i at least know a few things about it!)
my political economy class is for a large part a reminder of the last two years of my undergraduate degree, five or six of us come prepared to discuss the material and the rest don't do the reading and don't speak up in class. this turns into a very quiet room with only a few voices speaking.
a few times today i contextualized a couple of things we were talking about, or used current affairs to highlight a point. nothing major, and really it was more for my own benefit than anyone elses, working out conceptual problems and using 'real world' examples helps me contextualize theory in my head.
at one point in class one of the women in the room turns to me and says "how do you know so much?" with a definite disparaging tone in her voice. i think i turned bright red, i don't like that sort of attention and while i'm outspoken and definitely participate in discussion a lot i don't think i'm smart so much as vocal.
afterwards michelle (my awesome academic buddy) and i were outside when someone else came up to us and proclaimed (jokingly... sort of...) that he "hated us for being so smart" wtf?
why is it that i feel like i have to apologize for coming to class prepared?
a byron katie moment: you should apologize for being prepared and informed... is that true?
why does my MA feel like my BA? is this all just a bunch of BS?