after about the age of 16 i stopped liking the holidays as much as i used to.
maybe it was knowing that my mother hated the holidays, or that i had a family member with a fairly serious drinking problem, or maybe i just grew to dislike the feeling that the entire exercise was a giant exercise in plasciticity. it didn't feel real, it felt forced and unwelcome, when i was 18 i hid a bottle of southern comfort in my bedroom and nipped at it all night long to keep from busting into tears when my family had a conversation that was so homophobic it made my soul feel dead.
i've come to a better place with christmas, my soon to be brother-in-law is amazing and knowing that my sister loves me for who i am, knowing that no matter what i have some members