i've come to realize that no matter how hard i try to be the "together" version of myself
do other people have "together" versions of themselves? do images of who they wish they could be populate their minds and make them feel inferior?
"together marcos" is someone who can do work in the mornings, who doesn't end up covered in doritos crumbs when he has his friends over, who doesnt drink, smoke and curse too much, who doesn't like to be up till all hours of the night because its the only time things seem to get done. it's that version of myself that i think people would probably like more and would fit in better with the rest of the world.
sometimes, not often, but sometimes the self loathing kicks in and then i get really down on myself for not liking to get up early or for really enjoying working all night and then sleeping all morning. i tried being a morning person, several times in fact, and i absolutely hate it.
but why the compulsion to keep trying?
Comments (1)
I don't have a "together Carly." Whenever I get down about it, I think about Ironstone-Catterall's idea of the Imposter Complex that you told me about. I think everyone's got it, and not just in matters of grad school:)
Posted by Carly | July 31, 2007 9:12 AM
Posted on July 31, 2007 09:12